Your heart is so small it makes your tiny hands look like catcher mitts.”
The machinations of Donald Trump’s White House stoke new rounds of outrage so reliably that you could practically set your watch by them. Still, liberal Americans were particularly incensed Thursday when Trump unveiled his proposed budget, which will slash funding dramatically for a variety of domestic programs and agencies, including the E.P.A. and the National Endowment for the Arts (much to the chagrin of Julie Andrews).
Liberals are, naturally, opposed to those cuts—but they’re not what got the pitchforks out. Instead, it’s the budget’s proposed decrease in federal grants that are used to fund, among other things, Meals on Wheels—an emphatically nonpartisan organization that delivers food to needy senior citizens. The White House calls this potential defunding “compassionate.” Seth Meyers. . . does not agree.
“How dead inside do you have to be to not want old people to get food?” the Late Night host said incredulously on Thursday’s show, at the end of a fiery Closer Look segment that bundled together takes on the budget, Trumpcare’s flameout, and the president’s unsupported wiretapping claims. His most vehement words, though, were reserved for Trump’s “cruel” financial plan and his strange position on Meals on Wheels—one that, as Meyers pointed out, seems specifically targeted at the subsection of the population that supports Trump most. (Much like Trumpcare, as Meyers also noted.)
“Your heart is so small it makes your tiny hands look like catcher mitts,” Meyers continued. “Old people voted for you! Your key demographics were old people and older people. They believed you when you said you cared about them. There’s nothing more lowlife than lying to the elderly.”
That was when Meyers really turned the knife: “You should know that; you’re 70,” he said, continuing to address Trump directly. “Don’t you hate it when people lie to you, and say things like, ‘I’ll try to make it down next week. It’s just, I’m on kayak and there are just no flights’?” Cue the inset photo of Melania Trump.
Meanwhile, on ABC, Jimmy Kimmel spent some time analyzing the Trump budget as well—but though he was as incredulous as Meyers at the way it targets Meals on Wheels, Kimmel spent a little more time digging into the president’s proposed defunding of PBS.
“Before he gets rid of Sesame Street, I think we should make the president watch it a couple of times,” Kimmel said, not entirely sounding like he was joking. “That show teaches so many things he needs to know—which thing is bigger than the other, how to spell, the importance of telling the truth and sharing, listening to others. Maybe throw in some Schoolhouse Rock, and he can find out how government works. Let’s get on that.”